F u t u r e C o m m e r c i a l i s m

I have found that almost every science fiction piece that deals with future technology fails to incorporate commercialism and marketing. I don’t know how they manage to leave it out, as it so permeates our society, and has for so long. I’m not sure why people think it will disappear.

Back to the Future Part II came pretty close to getting it right, when Marty travels to 2015. The Jaws 19 ad with the shark hologram that seems like it’s going to eat Marty, the equally intrusive flying car ad on the talking billboard, the dehydrated pizza with a Pizza Hut logo on the wrapper, the “Café ‘80s.” They sure pulled that one out of their asses. Beside the fact that as we begin 2010 it doesn’t seem like we’re going to get flying cars and 15 more sequels to Jaws in the next five years, the idea that new technology would be coupled with obnoxious, invasive advertising is more likely than the possible realities created by other science fiction stories. In fact, just a few weeks ago this outdoor flatscreen TV told me to buy things while I was at a gas station.

I half expected Goldie Wilson III to come on the screen and try to sell me a Skyway Flyer.


Nowhere in Star Trek can I find any reference to commercialism. There are very few markings on the Enterprise giving us any sort of hint as to who made it. The food seems to be mostly freeze-dried, but no distribution companies are mentioned. The closest thing to a company in Star Trek is the Federation, and somehow they seem to hold absolutely everything together with relative ease. In the Next Generation episode where they travel back in time and meet Mark Twain, a conversation between Twain and Counselor Troi reveals that all suffering and class systems have been eliminated on Earth (thank god I can’t name the title, number or stardate of the episode). Bullshit. It’s implausible. Besides, the human race will never be a part of something so noble and pure.

Take Rosie from The Jetsons. No brand anywhere. And who built all of those raised houses? And what about their flying cars? Who sold them the “crazy thing” that George Jetson wanted Jane, his wife, to “stop”?

Star Wars. What companies make the ships? They just seem to have them. It’s like they’re a bunch of different tribes who make their own weapons, but their weapons are huge multi-functional starships and laser guns. And the ships seem to have all the important parts right on the outside. One hit and you’re fucked. They somehow manage to always hit the shield generator, even when the shield is already up. In fact, you need a little robot sitting on the outside to constantly fix the damn thing. And it doesn’t come with the ship. Each sold separately. I refuse to believe there’s no commercial bullshit going on there.

Think about some of the things we have today that people of the past could only dream of. High-functioning personal computers. Cell phones with Internet access. A GPS that can tell you where to go, where you are, where you were, and if you go the wrong way. But these things aren’t perfect by any means; you complain about them every day. And they didn’t come out of nowhere, either. They're not god-given advantages of evolution. You paid your dues to Mac, Dell, HP, Verizon, Motorola, and Garmin. You have to call up these masters of modern technology because the stuff gets outdated. It malfunctions, it breaks, it needs new maps, it needs a new processor, a new hard drive, a new mouse, a new keyboard, and every year or so, a whole new system altogether, because the stuff is designed not to last so you have to buy the next one.

This is no secret, but for some reason people think the advertising bullshit that has been around since the beginning of time will just disappear at some point. I’m sure that as soon as early humans figured out how to sharpen a stick, some business-savvy caveman figured out how to make a lot of them, and would trade them for food, or two minutes behind a rock with some poor, dumb, prototherian consumer’s cave-wife. He’d make it worth their while: “You very busy. You must hunt and fuck. Me make stick for you. Best stick in Pangaea. Me give you good deal.”

-Joe